Every day you and I talk with a senior citizen who has a different slant on what they are looking for in the twilight of their years. At a time in life when the things you thought mattered really don’t, you come full circle to finding out what your real needs are. Every one of us has come across a senior friend who needs more than we can sometimes give. But we all realize it’s important to be there, to listen, to care. That is, if doing what we do is more than a job, if it’s a mission.
What is the heart of the Reverse Mortgage industry? What are we really looking to accomplish? This story is about what it’s meant for me to come alongside a senior friend who has less time left in life than we do. Many of us have stories just like this. I share this with you, my readers, in the hopes that all of us who do these loans will have a deeper understanding of what this business can mean to just one person, the person you may meet tomorrow, the person you may never see again.
Growing up on Long Island, I have memories of my aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Back then things were very different. The cost of living didn’t choke you. It seems we respected our elders much more than society does today. As I interacted with my grandparents, they seemed secure. Not rich, just secure. Their life seemed carefree and stress free. My grandparents were welcomed into the homes of my aunts and uncles to live there as they aged. I marvel at the great respect we had for our elders. Somehow, in America, many cast off their elders with a wink and a nod, and the appreciation for their rich history just isn’t there.
The stress of daily living in the 21st century has caused many of us to rush around and forget what is right in front of us. We who come in contact with the senior community are in the unique position of interacting with the most interesting people who have the best stories to tell.
Being in the senior industry, I know that a senior citizen with one-on-one daily in-home care along with a Reverse Mortgage to help pay for it can help a senior citizen remain in community with all their friends, stay in familiar surroundings, and perhaps live a longer life. Nosocomial infections aren’t there in their home to attack them. And let’s face it, who can argue that a home cooked meal tastes much better than in a facility. Now, to the point of my story.
I’d like to tell you about my friend Charlie. Charlie was an interesting 93 year old senior, born in 1914, who I met through a Reverse Mortgage postcard program. His gruff voice on the phone masked his true gregarious personality. When I met Charlie for the first time, his family was curiously absent. Instead, his caring neighbor was there to check me out. Charlie later told me the story of how he wasn’t very nice to his children years before. But it was such a long time ago. Apologies were made— all to no avail. Grandchildren and children were not visiting Charlie anymore. This made him very sad. His neighbors took their places and made sure Charlie was given the provisions he needed. They cleaned his house. They took him shopping. They visited him twice a day. One neighbor across the street served Charlie delicious home cooked meals while he sat in her kitchen and enjoyed her baby. Other days he’d sit at the local body shop and chat with the guys to quench his loneliness.
Charlie got his Reverse Mortgage. Was he happy! The frown he wore when I first visited began to change to smiles. But he was even happier that we had become friends. I would take him out to dinner, we went to breakfast, we went to lunch, we spent hours and hours watching TV until ten o’clock in the evening. And then he would beg me not to leave. Mostly Charlie liked to talk. He was as sharp as a tack, the sharpest elder I have seen in many years. I started visiting Charlie every day, so often that my husband became a Reverse Mortgage widower! And then even my husband visited Charlie! At 93 years old, Charlie had less years to live than we did. We were always conscious of that fact. Charlie’s mom lived well into her late 90’s, and we were certain Charlie might hit 100.
Spending time with Charlie became more enjoyable. Each time I’d take Charlie to dinner he’ d say “But I should be taking you to dinner!” My answer was simple: “When I invite you out to dinner, I pay!” Charlie was unkempt, he didn’t always dress right, his clothes didn’t match, but I was always proud to be around him. Charlie became my mission in life, one more person to help, one more person to give a little joy to before the twilight of their years became sunset. In his own inimitable way, Charlie would say, “I like you. You like me. I think we’ll get along!”
In my nearly five years of meeting seniors, I have found one thread, one thing my senior friends want, not to be alone— to have friends and family that need them.
In my daily visits to Charlie, he showed his appreciation by saying the sweetest things which I shall never forget. “How can I ever repay you? I’m so glad you’re here. You really made my day!” One day I walked through the front door of Charlie’s house, and Charlie grinned. In his typically gruff voice he said, “I need to call a carpenter to cut a hole in my ceiling.” I was puzzled. “Why, Charlie? Do you want to put a skylight in?” He answered, “No. I need a carpenter to cut a hole in the ceiling because when you walk through that door, the heavens open up and the angels come down.” It nearly brought me to tears.
Here was a man who wanted company so badly, who so appreciated spending time with someone so much, even if they only had the title: Reverse Mortgage Specialist. Just a Reverse Mortgage specialist? That’s all? We are so much more.
Each time I heard words from Charlie, I thought to myself: “Here we are. We talk about helping our community. We talk about community service. Yet we have the opportunity right in front of us to serve by serving our senior population. The people who made America great. One day I couldn’t fulfill my daily visit, so I invited Charlie to come with me on my run to Kohl’s, Verizon, and beyond. “Okay. I’ll go.” I lifted Charlie’s wheelchair into my car. I could get things done quicker if I could whiz Charlie around the stores rather than he use his cane. At the Verizon store, Charlie touched me on the shoulder. He was going to wait in the car for me. I will never forget the words he spoke that day:
“Don’t fly too fast. You might break your wings.” This time I did cry. And do you know what? Maybe that’s what it takes.
I like to think that those short months we spent together were as sweet for Charlie as they were for me. I thought I’d have more years with Charlie. For sure, his neighbors thought so too. Now, I picture Charlie just as I remember him. And that he is not flying too fast either.
About Kathie Adler:
Kathie Adler is a Senior Reverse Mortgage Specialist with Advisors Mortgage Group, an A+ Better Business Bureau rated company with headquarters in Wall, New Jersey and branches found throughout the East Coast. A resident of Long Island for over fifty years and an expert in Reverse Mortgages for more than six, Kathie deems it a privilege to help senior homeowners remain in their homes. Through her efforts, Kathie Adler has worked successfully to help senior homeowners change their lives. Whether bankruptcy or foreclosure (achieving settlements to help a homeowner avoid foreclosure), Kathie’s clients will find help and assistance as well as a caring friend.
Kathie is an author and former radio personality, her article “Don’t Fly Too Fast” appeared in the Reverse Mortgage Review Magazine, an industry magazine. Kathie is a member of the Holbrook Chamber of Commerce, an active member of Senior Umbrella of Suffolk, and the founder of the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group that met at Mather Hospital.
For further information or to request a free Reverse Mortgage Consultation in your home, contact Kathie:
Website: http://www.ReverseMortgageLI.com
Kathie’s email: kadler@advisorsmortgage.com
Kathie’s Blog: http://www.kathieadler.wordpress.com